The Lonely Sun
by Zamairiac
Summary: Celestia is betrayed by Discord and left alone on Equis for millions of years, unable to tell what memories are false and which are real. Until one day, she meets a young boy who, amongst her gradual slip into insanity, she thinks is her son.


_**No idea where this came from, but heh, when inspiration strikes, it bloody strikes!**_

_**The main story will come soon, most likely after I've finished the final chapter for The Interrogation. **_

_**It's not a long story, the chapters will only be this long, and there will only be four or five of them. Think of it as me branching out from romance, into a different kind of love.**_

_**A mother's love for her son!**_

_**Not sure what tags this needs exactly, so if I've forgotten something then please do tell me.**_

_**Happy reading!**_

**The Lonely Sun**

How long has it been since that…since that day?

I think it's been…a thousand, no…a million…two, three…twenty?

The endless routine of day and night, sun and moon, all raised by me to keep Equis alive, along with some harmonious magic to keep her a paradise.

How long have I been doing it?

They're still animals here. Birds, insects, squirrels, and even the occasional bunny. Harmony keeps them alive, my harmony, but the price…

Alive, but mere animals with nowhere near the intelligence they once had. You could ask a question all those years ago and at the very least…you'd get a nod. But if I asked something now…all I'd get was…nothing, nothing but silence.

Still, at least I'm not entirely alone.

The grass is still lush; the ocean still glimmers in the sunlight…and is so beautiful beneath the night time sky. Food is of little consequence, what with magic halting my need for such sustenance…hmm, if any of my little ponies were still here, if even one…I could spread this gift onto them.

Hmm…only one actually. Powerful I may be, but such conflict against a ponies nature is…very taxing on my strength.

Still…just one and I could share…I could do more. I could talk…oh how I wish to hear a voice other than my own.

Discord…

He's to blame for this!

The sound of my hoof stamping on the grass echoes all around me, spooking various creatures from their slumber in a panic.

No…No I must be calm, I cannot afford to lose control now. I have to remain…calm…I have to remain…

**…**

Hmm, oh no, oh not again.

Fire…endless fire in front of my eyes. It burns through the grass like an ever hungry monster, destroying all in its path. Alas, with a quick flick of my horn, all is well again.

The animals, the insects, all that perished in the blaze, are restored, albeit with a little less intelligence. The grass, the trees that burned…all is well once more.

The flames…they are my doing, brought about with my brief bout of insanity. It is the price of my loneliness, my endless days of living all by myself. Sometimes…when anger takes me, when I lose control of myself, I black out for but a moment…and when I come to…

Everything around me is burning.

I blame not myself, but rather that of the trickster!

I blame Discord!

It was he who fooled me into trusting his word. It was he who denied having the power to stop the false meteor…It was he who, in what seemed to be the end of days, convince Luna, convince my little Twilight…convince everypony to band together and perform the grand move.

The grand move to another, though uninhabited world.

And we all agreed…we all trusted that he was reformed, that kindness herself had morphed my once great foe into a loving soul.

We were wrong…and I paid the price.

I can still hear the laughter, his laughter, his amused tone as he explained how my foolish trust had trapped me and me alone on Equis.

I watched as he snapped his fingers and whisked the illusion away. I listened as he taunted me with my fate, how he promised their safety yet laughed about my eternal loneliness.

I watched my world come apart as he vanished, his chaotic essence leaving the entirety of Equis for good, every door to every world closing in his wake.

I felt…everything in that moment. For in that moment…I knew I would forever be alone.

Why mother…why have you left me to my fate?

What wrong have I done to make you abandon me like this?

Was it Luna's banishment? Was it Twilights unsanctioned ascension?

I did what did to Luna for Equestria's safety…my little sister was no more, only an echo; a demon to mock me and threaten my little ponies.

I did what I did to Twilight because…because she earned it. She was so powerful mother; her raw talent was nigh enough to rival my own at her age.

And…I loved her as if she were my own.

She told me of her mother's distance when she was but an innocent little filly, knowing not what it was she told me. She knew not of the ramifications, she knew not of my anger towards Velvet.

But that's why I was so close to her, to Twilight. It was why I treated her like I did, with love and kindness, unconditional and yet…more than I would an average subject.

It is not because I did not love them, I did, I loved them all as if they were my children. But Twilight…she was more than my subject; she was my little filly, **MY** little filly.

But she's gone now…she's been gone for a long, long time.

Oh, how I wish to hold her beneath my wing once more. How I wish to see the content smile on her muzzle as she shuffled closer, seeking my warmth.

But alas…she is gone now. Permanently, if Luna has not forsaken a millennia or two.

It hurts terribly, but with permission…I would do anything to keep my little filly alive.

And with me.

Ahh, there are times in which my maternal instincts take hold, much like before. Perhaps looking after my little ponies for so long ingrained it permanently for anypony, no matter their age or gender.

If I found but one of my ponies alive…I would keep them safe, I would watch over them forever…and with permission, they would live forever.

It is but a pipe dream, but I would give my wings and horn for just a day with another soul.

**…**

How long has it been?

A few…years perhaps, since that naïve, yet hopeful thought.

I am walking through the lush grass, seeking the sound I heard not an hour previously. It was not a loud noise, but the sound…it reminded me of teleportation.

Alas, I may just be delusional. It would not be the first time I have imagined something after all.

It would not be…w-what, what is that?

A small crater lies before me, grass and rubble scattered around it. Curiously, I make my way over and peer into it.

No…it cannot…how?

What lies within is…is a life, is somepony else!

All inhibitions thrown aside, I scramble down into the crater and lift its head carefully with my right wing.

It's bipedal and wearing…clothing?

Hah…I have not seen clothing in so many years.

From what I can tell, it appears to be quite young. Its mane is a light shade of blond, but its eyes have yet to be discovered…I can wait though, it'll wake up.

It is…young…young…so young.

I could take care of it.

How it got here I know not, but I will not complain about this gift.

C-Can…can it talk?

…

Oh…Oh but a few minutes later and I hear it speak…hear _him_ speak.

"M-Mom…wh-where…"

He soon loses consciousness once more, falling back into slumber against my barrel.

"Poor baby," I croon sadly, brushing his sweaty mane from his forehead.

The poor thing is shivering against me, obviously quite unwell. But I shall take care of him, I will!

I know not what he needs to survive bar water…though his teeth show me that perhaps...he is far more predatory than any pony.

No matter.

Using my harmonious gift, I shall keep hunger and thirst away.

Permanently!

**…**

A few more days of shivering and panting take the poor child. I have removed his clothing; it was doing more harm than good.

The child is most certainly male, and without a sheath by the look of it. He is also rather thin, though I blame the illness. His face is certainly more gaunt than it was the first time I…

The first time…

M-My…head…

_First time?_

Was…

**…**

A week has passed us by, and the child is looking worse.

What is doing this to him?

The illness seems to resemble that of a fever. He is sweating profusely, panting raggedly, and talking gibberish in his sleep.

My magic can do little more than keep him comfortable…and it makes me most upset.

I am a bad mother!

Mother?

I…am not a…am I?

My memories are…jumbled. At times they remain somewhat clear, and I recall finding the child in that crater.

Yet at times…I remember carrying him within me. I remember the miracle my mother gifted me with, a child without a father…just me.

I remember…

**…**

At last!

My child has broken from the fever, he will be well!

More memories have flown throughout my mind, memories of my little colt. I remember carrying him, birthing him, nursing him…

I remember the warmth I felt upon holding him for the first time, and every time after that. I remember his first word...

"_Mommy."_

I remember how happy I was upon hearing it, how prideful I felt upon witnessing MY child, my baby boy growing up.

Yet…sometimes I feel it is a falsehood, a dream.

But looking down upon him now…no, no!

He is MY CHILD!

MINE!

I know this to be true, I know it!

I will not be lonely anymore; I will not abandon him…not again.

**…**

I remember now.

We had argued over something silly…silly to me, yet serious to him. It was my fault for not taking him seriously…I will never repeat that mistake.

I…I remember him running away from me, crying out something in his rage.

I gave him time to cool down, too much time…I could not find him for months!

Why couldn't I find him…I don't remember, the fear must have clouded out that thought.

But then I did find him. My poor baby was hurt by something…I cannot recall what, it must be the stress of the whole situation.

Whatever it was…it will never be able to do it again, that much I know.

**…**

He stirs sometimes, his eyes opening briefly, their baby blue…blue?

Were they blue…no matter, they're rose now, just like mine.

Every time he looks at me, however briefly…I feel such love for him. I feel an urge to protect him, to nurture him unlike anything I've felt since…since Twilight.

But this is different now. Twilight, bless her soul, is gone. My little boy is not.

His name…how could I have forgotten his name?

Ah…yes I remember now.

He is called Solaris.

Hehe, my mind is tired; it plays tricks with me on occasion.

It…ah, he stirs once more.

"Wh-…where am I?" he croaks weakly.

Smiling warmly, I reach down and stroke his mane with a tender hoof, before leaning down and kissing his small nose ever so gently.

"You're home sweetheart," I say lovingly. "You were unconscious in a crater…but mommy found you."

The poor colt, his eyes are glassy and unfocused. I'd be surprised if he could even see me.

"Oh," he utters feebly, his voice slurred slightly. "Mom, I don't feel very well."

Sighing sadly, I smile down at my little colt and use a wing to pull him close, snuggling the exhausted child against my warmth. He groans quietly as I do so, pushing his face against my side.

The instinctive act of a child, my child, seeking his mother for warmth and safety brings a small titter of content joy out of me.

I lean down slightly, my muzzle barely above his ear as I whisper comforting words.

"Oh, my baby boy," I coo softly. "Sleep now my darling, mommy's going to make you all better."

I will make him better. I never break a promise, especially not with him.

He would be fine, the fever had broken and all he needed now was a mother's love.

A mother's love…That's all he needed, and that's what he'll always have.

After all.

I am his mother.

**To Be Continued In…**

**Mother?**


End file.
